Down There

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By John Vaughters

Well I'll tell you this story, One well burned in mind
Not even Alziemers could leave this behind
The story is true and all that is stated
A form of small torture one very ill fated

On a typical day of a typical morn
My Mother, your Grandmother was on her chore
Fat back and Bacon was the 70's way
And so were heart attacks back in them days

With bacon complete and stacked oh so neat
it was time for the eggs and in they went
with a bath of bacon grease ready and hot
no need for turning, just a splash on the top

One little mistake from a busy distraction
One splash too many for this grave infraction
Over the top
Out of the pan
Onto the burner 
And then came fire
With one final crash

There arose such a flame it was out of control
rising to the ceiling with it's dark black soul

Fire alarm You say? I think NOT!
Hysterical screaming is all we GOT!
We fled from our bed and into the hall
We stopped in our tracks to see such a sight
we could not move we had such fright

BILL BILL BILL the wailing continued
Even over the shower the sound went in you
In a rush to see what the screech was about
He moved quick, even nearly fell out

To the kitchen he went without even thinking
All he knew was his dansel was screaming
He arrived at the kitchen, grease on a tear
Three kids brightly staring, hey what's that there?

Wiggly jiggly it it moved all around 
Flippity Flop it made such a sound
Back in the 70's unlike today
it wasn't polite but just to say, "Hey something's going on down there"

Was it the fire or his eggs that caused his reaction
Only he knows what put him in action
He reached for a glass and was filling the water
When mother struck quick and saw a GREAT matter
Oh my, this will cause such a splatter

Was it the fire or down there that caused her reaction
Only she knows what put her in action
Selfish or not she pulled from the cupboard
Some white powdered soda that created a smother
Out went the fire with Bill standing ready
Fresh water in glass and all watching steady

After the fire, all was well
except three kids whose jaws had fell

BILL! Jeanne shout out, You're Naked!!! 
Oh what truth she just spout

With a quick little Shutter 
He moved his bare ass
He moved it real fast
He shot like a bull and left all a flutter
Flippity Flop, Flippity Flop, as the sound turned down

Jeanne, My mother, your grandmother turned with a grin
she stated quite nicely and very politely
Go get dressed and I'll get your breakfast.
Wheaties is was with Bruce Jenner our Champion.

With Man Hood in tact, we all must exclaim
that my mother, your grandmother saved my father, your grandfather
from a lifetime of shame by smothering that fire and protecting Down There.

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